I just got in the door after teaching the second class of my 4-week Creative Chakras session. I am starving, but I just have to write this, (good thing I had a cookie in my purse for time like these!)
It's a chilly October night, the kind that tells you winter is definitely on it's way; but my heart is racing and my skin is sweaty and there's a fire stoked inside me. Our chakra of focus tonight was Manipura, the third of our primary energy centers, sitting in the solar plexus, governed by the fire element and the color yellow. This is the home of our willpower, our motivation, self-esteem, confidence and personal power. This for me has always been the crux of my creative success or, more aptly, downfall. Whenever I have felt lacking in all or any of these fiery strengths, big surprise, my writing suffers, or just plain dies.
We started class by reflecting on and writing about what exactly blocks us. What are our environmental blocks: "I don't have the space to make art." What are our habitual blocks: "I distract myself from writing by cleaning the house." (Yes, a strange one indeed!) And, the toughest of all: What self-limiting stories have woven so tightly so we can't get anything out? "I will never be a great writer, only ever mediocre at best."
My plan was then to lead a fiery flow, building heat and endurance to stimulate our confidence and burn through blocks. We got about halfway into it, and then, something incredible happened. The class just took off on it's own, and all of a sudden, everyone went full force into their own personal practice, and got really deep. With eyes closed and pores open I watched my glowing creators let their inner fires radiate and move them, exactly as they needed. It was beautiful. It was art in motion.
After a well-deserved cool down, we all took up our pens and composed our personal creative power mantras, intended to provide us with fuel when our craft feels cold and closed. Naturally, I expected something about my identity as a writer to surface, something like, "I am a good writer." but instead, the yoga teacher in me spoke: "I am a good yoga teacher." For a moment, I was surprised: didn't I already believe that? Then, I thought about the class that had just happened and then, I saw it.
Ever since I had experienced my first meditation in motion, a flow facilitated by the teacher but guided by the inner body so it becomes personal free-form, even dance-like movement, I dreamed of bringing this experience to some distant class, somewhere in the unknown future of my life as a yoga teacher. This has been a personal benchmark for me that somehow, I just had not been able to get to. I don't think I trusted my own capacity and passion. And to be honest, I think that I feared trying, and not succeeding. That future, had finally arrived. I burned through a huge block tonight.
When the class was gone and the sky was dark and the studio reflected back in on itself from the giant picture windows I cranked the music and did cartwheels and danced until I was breathless.
I biked without holding onto the handles all the way home.
To you reading this, here is my wish:
May You Honor the Power Within You. May the Fire Within You Burn Through All Blocks and Fears. You Have All the Power you Need Inside of You Already, Always.